Whether you agree or not, divorce impacts men and can hurt their physical and emotional health. Here are some ways divorce affects men and what they can do to keep their dignity and sanity.
Divorce is an emotional whirlwind that radically transforms a guy. As a result, he feels completely depleted and emotionally spent, and his entire existence is upheaved. After all, dissolving a marriage is never simple. People who lose a loved one regard divorce as the second-most traumatic occurrence.
Men may feel relieved, but the euphoria soon wears off and is replaced by tension, anxiety, and post-divorce sadness.
Although most of us think women suffer most during divorce, this is not necessarily the case. According to studies, divorce considerably negatively impacts men’s overall health, happiness, and quality of life. Divorce carries a higher negative connotation for males than for women. After divorce, they are more prone to experience sentiments of resentment and pessimism since they suffer in silence more.
This article provides insight into how divorce changes a man and offers suggestions about how men can overcome their sadness over a failed marriage and start afresh.
What Causes a Marriage to Fail?
An estimated 39% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. While some couples decide to get back together during divorce proceedings, others choose to split up because of their irreconcilable differences. The following are some of the primary causes of divorce:
- Financial instability
- Differences in opinion
- Lack of commitment
- Interpersonal conflict
- Domestic violence
- Substance overuse
- Marrying too young
How Divorce Affects and Changes a Man
One of the most frequent effects of divorce on men is their emotional health. Men may feel various negative emotions during and after the divorce process, including being depressed, anxious, angry, and sad.
It may be very challenging if they require extra help from friends or family.
A man’s feeling of self can be impacted by divorce as well. Men may struggle to re-establish themselves after a divorce and feel like they have failed in their duties as fathers and spouses, and they may become socially isolated, which might damage their self-esteem.
A man facing a divorce may also experience emotions that impact his relationship with his children. They might need to discuss co-parenting plans, which can be challenging if they don’t get along with their ex-partner or feel cut off from their kids’ lives.
Simply put, divorce affects a man in many different ways.
Here’s why a man experiences more significant pain than a woman during and following his legally-binding divorce:
Men Frequently Skip The Grieving Part
Women are typically seen as emotionally fragile and weak. They are given enough time to mourn and accept the broken connection. To help them deal with their loss and sadness, they are even recommended to seek professional assistance from a therapist.
While men are supposed to “push through” the defeat, they are expected to put everything behind them immediately, move past their grief and carry on with their lives. They never have enough time to process the end of a love affair or relationship.
It is not expected that they will sob or express their feelings. Men never heal as a result of this. All their feelings, including anger, grief, and resentment, are suppressed. Their happiness, health, and general quality of life are all hampered by this, which frequently causes the feeling of being anxious and depressed.
Men Feel Lost And Isolated As A Result Of Their Limited Support Network
Men typically surround themselves with a small support system. Compared to women, they are not as emotionally close with their extended friends and family. In actuality, males rely primarily on their spouses for all of the emotional support in the world. Men thus frequently experience a sense of being lost, alone, and isolated after their divorce. Even with their siblings, parents, and lifelong friends, they find it challenging to properly express and share their feelings of being sad, hopeless, and despair.
Contrarily, women have more robust social networks. For emotional support, they confide in their relatives and friends. They are likely to sign up for support groups or discover new interests to feel better. Thanks to these social contacts, they are far better able to recover and continue with their lives.
Men Must Handle the Blame
Every divorce involves both parties. The marriage breakdown is essentially the fault of both the husband and the wife. But the man always has to take the biggest hit. Therefore, although a man may be a devoted husband, he is frequently blamed for “failed” marriages and divorces.
Their mental health suffers as a result of this. The most prominent symptoms are frequently being regretful, guilty, ashamed, and anxious. They can cause depression and stress that can persist for days, months, or even years if not treated immediately.
Having Difficulty Entering New Relationships
Men believe that they are to blame for the marriage’s failure. However, people frequently look for comfort in new relationships before they’re ready to move on to deal with their sadness and loneliness. They will always be burdened by the emotional fallout from their failed relationship, even if they successfully find love again. They frequently struggle to develop an emotional connection with their new partner and are hesitant about their decisions. The outcome? The connection never develops further than a certain level and is also not emotionally fulfilling.
However, divorced ladies choose a different path. Before starting a new relationship, they give themselves enough time to recover and mature. They enjoy spending time with family and friends and do not rush into relationships like men do, ensuring the success and durability of their ensuing relationships.
Men Frequently Suffer from Identity Loss
Our family largely defines us, and they play a significant role in our lives. But once a divorce occurs, males typically lose everything: their partner, their children, their family, and their happiness. The mother is inferior and frequently granted custody of the children, while the father has visitation rights. Changes in family dynamics have catastrophic effects and frequently hurt men’s mental and physical health. Because moving to a new home is difficult, so empty nests are never cheerful.
That’s not all, though. A man frequently struggles to acclimate to his circumstances after divorce. His social life changes, making it challenging to remain in his same old company, mainly if he has always belonged to the “couple’s group.” He might have made new friends or sought comfort from single or divorced individuals.
Men Must Cope With The Suffering Of Losing Child Custody
Even though the father is willing to care for the kids, the mother usually ends up with custody, especially if the kids are young. Being removed from children can have a variety of effects on men. He begins to feel unworthy and may feel upset and resentful if he misses significant junctures in his children’s life. It can result in various health problems, such as anxiety, depression, and stress.
Financial Consequences Have a Cost
Men can take a long time to divorce a spouse because of the financial repercussions and shifting family dynamics. Even if their ex-partners are independent workers, they must still provide for them financially. When parents are divorced, a significant percentage of a man’s salary goes toward providing for the children. Men find it incredibly challenging to manage two houses, and they are compelled to lower their standard of living. And as a result, everything in their lives is affected.
Health Always Takes a Backseat
It’s a well-known fact that men’s health rapidly deteriorates following divorce. Their unhealthy lifestyle changes and inactive behavior are frequently to blame for this. Men frequently become immersed in their work to avoid feeling lonely. Some people even turn to unhealthy eating practices, smoking, and drinking to deal with their feeling sad. This results in health issues getting worse, such as:
- Divorced men are more prone to develop cancer and heart disease.
- Men who have recently divorced are more prone to have dramatic changes in their weight and health due to bad eating habits.
- Divorced men frequently experience intense emotional turmoil. They could experience mood swings, such as being angry one moment and sad or depressed the next.
- They also experience guilt, regret, loneliness, disappointment, and denial. Their mental health frequently suffers as a result of such intense feelings.
- Men are more prone than women to experience anxiety, stress, depression, and insomnia during and after divorce.
- Their immune system weakens as a result of their emotional and physical problems. They are more susceptible than others to getting the flu and a cold.
- Even mortality rates are much more significant for divorced males than married ones.
Although it would be incorrect to claim that divorce has the same impact on all men, its physiological and emotional effects are undeniable. You may maintain a positive attitude by learning how to manage the stress a divorce brings with it. It can aid in preventing various illnesses and conditions like depression and anxiety.
Tips for Dealing with Stress After and During Divorce
Divorce is not the end of the world, despite what it may look like. There is always the possibility of a new beginning and new opportunities. All you need is time and focused work to advance in life.
While males may experience excessive depression after divorce, they should find comfort knowing they may always start over. The following actions can be helpful:
Give Yourself Some Space and Time
You have the right to grief over the end of the relationship that resulted in divorce. Men, not everything in life requires you to be a man. Take your time to recover from your loss, then. Move on with life only once you are comfortable and heal quickly.
Focus on Your Health and Diet
Your body, soul, and mind suffer when you are under stress. Maintaining a balanced diet might aid in your recovery and renewal. Omega-3-rich foods can aid in the reduction of stress, anxiety, and signs of depression. So give up your bad eating habits and replace them with nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables.
Include A Lot Of Exercise In Your Routine
Endorphins, the happy hormones that help you deal with stress and anxiety, are released when you exercise. It improves your mood, gives you energy, and soothes your senses. You can live a better life and feel better by exercising.
Socialize with Family and Friends
Being with people may be the last thing you’d want to do when depressed. However, the best thing you can do is feel better. You will not only be able to express your emotions, but your family and friends may also provide you with new insight into your life. Go out and socialize alongside your loved ones instead of isolating yourself. You would be much more at ease.
Seek Professional Help
The greatest thing you could do for yourself when facing a divorce is to speak with a licensed counselor. Divorce professionals can aid you in overcoming anxiety, stress, and depression because they are expertly educated and experienced. They can give you coping mechanisms to assist you in getting over your divorce quickly and going on with your life by studying your marriage and divorce.
Here are some responses to the most popular queries about how divorce affects a man.
Q: Are men happier when they divorce?
Because reality differs from our expectations, this is among those questions that we cannot answer with a straightforward yes or no.
Following a divorce, some men might feel relieved or delighted, while others might feel negative feelings, including being anxious, bitter, and confused. It typically depicts how the marriage was before its final dissolution.
It’s likely that if the man thought the marriage was pleasant, he would be devastated by the news of the divorce. He would probably feel happier after leaving if he chose to.
Q: Who is most likely to get remarried following a divorce?
Men are more likely than women to get remarried following a divorce, according to research. They might be more eager to dedicate themselves to a new relationship after a divorce, which could be one explanation for this.
Men also have greater social and financial advantages, such as a more extensive social network, a better income, and more excellent socializing opportunities, making it simpler to locate new mates. However, remember that every person’s situation is unique and that there isn’t a universal solution to this problem.
After a divorce, some people decide not to marry or start dating again.
Q: Is divorce better than an unhappy marriage?
The choice between getting a divorce and staying in an unhappy marriage eventually comes down to individual circumstances, and both have their obstacles and potential rewards.
Remaining in an abusive, toxic, or irreconcilable marriage could harm the person’s health. So, it could be advisable to get a divorce in this situation. Some couples may gain by addressing their problems in counseling or therapy and may be capable of strengthening their bond.
Finally, whether to get a divorce or stay in a bad marriage is a personal one. As you make your final decision, remember to put your mental peace of mind first.
Q: How long does it take to move on after divorce?
It is challenging to foresee when someone can move past a painful event like divorce, but it is not implausible to think that things will eventually get better with time. Recovering from a divorce might take as long as it takes.
Even after reading every piece of advice for happiness after divorce, you could not feel any better. Keep in mind that every man’s healing period is unique. While some men do not put much emotional effort into their relationships, others do.
Men who don’t put much effort into their marriages tend to move on from divorce faster than those who do.
Need Help with Your Divorce? Contact Donn W. Prokopius, Chtd. for a Free Consultation
If you have professionals on your side, the divorce procedure becomes simple, so don’t feel helpless and worthless. We know the subtleties of uncontested and contested divorce at Donn W. Prokopius, Chtd. Our knowledgeable legal team fights to uphold your rights so you can make decisions with full legal knowledge and dignity during your divorce. We offer honest, helpful advice and try to prevent your divorce from negatively affecting your well-being.
Contact us to schedule a free introductory consultation! We have a successful track record and can assist you in transitioning from divorce or separation to a fresh start.